I've recently become quite aware of exactly how much older I am now than I used to be. It's a hard thing to realize given the fact that it's the kind of thing that only gets worse and not better. I am aware, fellow agers, that I am only twenty-six and that twenty-six is a young age in the grand scheme of things but I do feel it nonetheless and I don't much care for it. Here are the main contributing factors: I've gained about fifteen pounds since May, for starters, at a recent doctor's appointment my body mass index was listed as 24 point something which makes me almost overweight. I used to be so skinny that people would angrily tell me to eat a hamburger or something similarly fattening. Of the many things one could be scorned for it wasn't the worst. I've also learned recently that I have blood sugar issues which are causing strange heart palpitations and I've been told to use a Holter monitor (sp?) for a week. Has anyone else had to use one of these things. On top of both of these things I had the rest of a suspicious mole removed yesterday which I'm told was just two stages below Melanoma and because I have had a mole like this my chances of having another jump significantly. Did you know if you've had five sunburns your risk for Melanoma doubles? I've had many more than five sunburns and I am much more pale than the average person to begin with. I hide from the sun like a vampire as it is. All of these things are harsh, yes, but perhaps the harshest reminder, harsher than stretch marks, wrinkles, and the odd clump of grey hairs above my right temple is the fact a that I now get called Mrs. and Ma'am by today's youth. It's the first true sign that I am no longer among Today's youth. Young wippersnappers. (Picture me standing in my yard shaking my fist angrily at teeneagers blasting loud music.)
Anyway I'm sure all of this is far too much information for the average reader but it's on my mind and normally when I think heavily about something I eat ice cream but I'm hoping to run a 5k in the morning and I don't want to be up listening to my angry heart-beat all night. I shouldn't be surprised, really, that I eat too much sugar. It would not surprise me at all, honestly, if I were to somehow be present for the birth of the long fabled Type 3 diabetes - maybe it will even be named after me. A girl can dream.
So where does that leave me now? feeling old and sorry for myself? No! well kind of but mostly no. While I am Older than I was I'm still young enough to make getting older more gentle on myself. I've never been one to take very good care of myself but I need to start. My fellow blogger over at Matchstickmolly.com swears by the intuitive eating idea so I've bought the book and I'm jumping on the bandwagon. My doctor suggested eating more Complex Carbohydrates especially after working out ( I work out now!) So I'm going to do just that. I'm going to cut out sweets as much as possible which might be difficult because my main career aspiration is to bake cupcakes for a living. I'm going to exercise at least three times a week. I'm going to give yoga a try. Most exciting, though, I'm going to make a point to really and truly enjoy my time with my husband and my daughter by scheduling weekly adventures. Nothing makes me feel as young or as joyful as watching Betty experience something new and exciting for the first time. It's addictive.
When you're young, particularly in adolescence, you feel immortal. I guess all I'm saying with this post is that I'm lamenting the fact that I've outgrown that feeling. I am not a supporter of plastic surgery in it's extremes and I love the Idea of aging gracefully. I think gray hair is lovely and I intend to embrace it fully when it finally takes over. Life is an adventure and I want to be capable of living it to it's fullest. I know I'm not old and that I do have my health and so I should have nothing to complain about. I don't even mean to complain but I do mean to acknowledge the fact that I should and am going to choose to live more healthily. As luck would have it I happen to love lettuce.